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fuck canvassing

from I Don't Even Know How by Miriam Hitchcock

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about

Insofar as this may seem to be about a job I've had let me point out that there are at least two ways in which it would be an inaccurate representation if it were:

I have only ever canvassed in Ann Arbor where there is no legal cut off for how cold it can be for when workers go out and knock on doors. There is such a cut-off in Chicago. It is -15 F.

Before putting this song into the world I decided to actually think through a little math and I've determined I've probably never made less than $6/hr. I probably have made less than minimum wage ($7.25/hr) which of course was legal because I was salaried. And of course there's no overtime for salaried workers.

Also, I wouldn't dream of telling anyone what to do, what job to take or to quit, whatever, but if you want advice: poop on your boss's desk.

Also, research the nonprofit industrial complex

lyrics

there's nothing quite like company vacation
the partie, the booze, and the sex, and the networking opportunities
there's nothing quite like sharing a ski condo with your boss
there's nothing quite like company vacation

there's nothing quite like getting back from vacation
when you realize you've got nothing to look forward to
except going door-to-door in -20 degree weather
and you'll find out that's not legal* but not for a month or too

there's nothing quite like 80 hour work weeks
and you figure that you're making less than $6/hr*
and you're running on coffee you're running on fumes you're running on bullshit
and if you take away my bullshit i will probably collapse

there's nothing quite like when no one makes quota
telling person after person you're not good enough to make a difference
but you gotta figure it's probably your fault
and you're the one who's not good enough to make a difference

and any hope that you were doing something good is leaking out through the corners of your eyes
and it's getting hard to breathe

there's nothing quite like finding a folder labeled fat kids
after yr boss tried to reassure you that campaign wasn't about that
and the organizations you're fundraising for
are racist, classist, trans-exclusionary liars

and there's nothing quite like getting in trouble
just for listening when someone tells you how the work you're doing is hurting her
and there's nothing quite like being afraid to tell your housemates
that the campaign you've just been assigned is the one that you all know hurts them

and any hope that you were doing something good is leaking out through the corners of your eyes
and it's getting hard to breathe

there's nothing quite like trying to quit
and your boss keeps you on the phone for over two hours
and he says "if you quit now, all your work will be for nothing"
and you're not ready to admit that it was already for nothing

and any hope that they were gonna let you go is leaking out through the corners of your eyes
and it's getting hard to breathe

*please see "about this track" and poop on your boss's desk.

credits

from I Don't Even Know How, released November 25, 2014

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Miriam Hitchcock Ann Arbor, Michigan

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