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2012 slingshot

from I Don't Even Know How by Miriam Hitchcock

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about

TW: emotional abuse

this song refers to an abuser with a mental illness and i worry about this because there's already lots of stigma around mental illness. i wrote this because of my experience with that sort of situation and that aspect of the relationship was too important to leave out, but PLEASE keep in mind: folks with mental illnesses at a much higher risk than other folks of BEING abused. don't hurt them or be mean to them just because this one time someone did something mean to me.

lyrics

in the 2012 slingshot organizer for the week of march 19-26
there's a picture of a zombie and the zombie says
"you said you'd love me forever"
and i had to scratch it out

sometimes i think i've tamed my demon but then i figure he's just giving someone else the chase
but either way i know he's been replaced
just wears a different face but he's all over the place, and he says

you said you'd love me forever why have you changed
you said you didn't need boundaries why have you changed
you said you'd never leave me you said you'd love me forever

mom said who are you texting all the time why don't you put your phone away
josh said if he's annoying you just tell him to go away
steve said he told me to find you says he's gonna commit suicide
please why don't you just pick up the phone
isn't that better than letting him die

i don't think he's gonna die
we've been through this seven or eight times
no i don't think he's gonna die, he'll just say

you said you'd love me forever why have you changed
you said you didn't need boundaries why have you changed
you said you'd never leave me you said you'd love me forever

said he couldn't hallucinate touch
if i touched him the pain would fade away
and then he asked me to hold his hand

can i hold your hand
will you please hold my hand
i need to hold your hand
if you loved me you'd let me hold your hand

you said you'd love me forever why have you changed
you said you didn't need boundaries why have you changed
you said you'd never leave me you said you'd love me forever

in the 2012 slingshot organizer for the week of march 19-26
there's a picture of a zombie and the zombie says

you said you'd love me forever and i had to scratch it out
i didn't just scratch it out, i wrote
it's not my fault

credits

from I Don't Even Know How, released November 25, 2014

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Miriam Hitchcock Ann Arbor, Michigan

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